outside reading ix

Outside Reading IX-
a reflective essay
by Richard Weems
Violence
January 9, 2011. 

Violence, by Richard Weems, is a pretty intense piece of writing. This is evidenced by the very first line, which reads "An evening bred from violence, seeded in violence. Steeped in violence." There are so many things right with that phrase (purely the syntax I mean.) The 'power of threes' is used effectively, which reinforces the extent to which that night was concerning violence. It also provides a certain poetic aspect to the words, which is an interesting contrast to the subject of violence. It's also quite effective how the phrases are all sentence fragments. The choppiness of the words provide for a certain suspense, one that effectively mirrors the feeling one may feel when faced with an evening of aggressive acts. All in all, this first line was a very effective way to establish the mood for the entire piece. 

Moving on, the rest of the piece has a pretty casual tone. It's written in the first-person, and our narrator often makes references to his friends by name. He alludes to pop culture such as Michael Jackson's "Thriller." He also uses effective dialogue- when an Irish man speaks, rather than just being told that he has an accent, we see the phonetic spelling: "Aye, lad." Or we can truly hear the long, drawn out voice of the boxing announcer, because it's spelled out for us: "'Let’s Get Ready to Rummmmmmmbllllllllle’". Weems is also no prude regarding subject matter, describing drunken exploits and dropping more than a few four-letter words. Because of these things, the reader can more accurately feel drawn into the piece. The familiarity and the realistic dialogue that Weems creates definitely helps me paint a more vivid image in my mind of what the characters are doing and who they are with.

Weems also uses effective diction to establish moods within his piece. There is a certain section where, apparently, he and his friends are acting pretty loud and boisterous in public, but "who gives a high holy one if anyone else is a little bothered?" Their obnoxiousness is establish by some diction that seems to compare the speaker and his friends to animals- when they enter the bar, they enter with "deep growls and evil laughs," making the reader think of wild beasts or hyenas. They order "dead animals steeped in fattening sauces and moan [their] approval." He could have just ordered a steak like a normal person, but he had to order "dead animal", and the imagery of "steeped in fattening sauces" is something that could be considered rather off-putting...to a human at least.

This tone, though fascinating, really could not be used for an AP essay. It very "fight club"-esque; the reader is in the speakers mind, his fragmented thoughts, his animal tendencies. Not to mention that I don't much think the AP grader would greatly appreciate being accosted with the f bomb after a long day of grading.